This website is a parody / satire project made for entertainment. It is NOT financial advice, NOT medical/mental-health advice, and NOT a real therapy service.
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"We can't bring back your investment."
But we can help you cope. Probably. Therapy not financially guaranteed.
Daily Affirmation
Clinically proven*. (*Not clinically proven.)
"It's just a dip bro. $10 is coming. The chart is loading slowly."
"The devs rugged! This is manipulation! My lawyer will hear about this!"
"If it goes back to my entry I'll sell half. I swear. Dear universe. Please."
"It's 3am. I'm eating cereal dry. Chart open in 12 tabs. Everything is fine."
"Actually, this is the best entry point ever. I'm DCA-ing. This is art. This is fine."
For therapeutic assessment only. Results may cause further grief.
Admit you are powerless over meme coins and that your portfolio has become unmanageable.
Believe that a power greater than your Telegram influencer could restore you to sanity.
Decide to close all chart tabs and eat a vegetable instead.
Make a fearless inventory of all the "research" you did (watching 1 YouTube video at midnight).
Tell another human being exactly which influencer told you to buy and how many times you listened.
Become entirely ready to have these portfolio screenshots removed from your camera roll.
Humbly accept that "do your own research" did not mean what you thought it meant.
List all persons you told to "buy PEPU it's going to 10x" and prepare for awkward family dinners.
Apologize directly to those people — except where doing so would require you to admit you also lost money.
Continue personal inventory. When you open Binance "just to look," admit it promptly.
Seek through meditation to improve conscious contact with reality. Sleep 8 hours. Not financial advice.
Having had a spiritual awakening, carry this message to other crypto victims — and do NOT tell them about the next hot meme coin.
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